She's JV to your varsity
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
