ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
