Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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