Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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