Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
