You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
