Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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