How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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