i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
