i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
