so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
