i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
