Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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