Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
