I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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