Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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