it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
