For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
