these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
