girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
where are you?
Hypothermia
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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