I heard we made out
I just saw a hot homeless man
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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