There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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