Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
