have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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