Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
