She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
it glows. i had to have it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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