i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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