Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.