she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning