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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.

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• (915): View more from Texas

  I told you I was good to drive

  (1-915): View more from Texas

  dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (217): View more from Illinois

  just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.

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• (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (707): View more from California

  New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Can you rollerblade?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  No, why?

  (585): View more from New York

  Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic

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