i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.