Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30