Texts From Last Night

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  (812): View more from Indiana

  just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"

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  (812): just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer" http://tfl.nu/i06z
  Replies (29) Good night (1179) Bad night (9606)
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  (212): View more from New York

  You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.

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  (212): You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin. http://tfl.nu/5eus
  Replies (15) Good night (904) Bad night (4719)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.

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  (806): We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts. http://tfl.nu/2tox
  Replies (11) Good night (6455) Bad night (1340)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.

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  (808): You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him. http://tfl.nu/k2hw
  Replies (27) Good night (1627) Bad night (3284)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.

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  (716): I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together. http://tfl.nu/l7kg
  Replies (34) Good night (3233) Bad night (9999)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.

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  (773): Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight. http://tfl.nu/f50l
  Replies (5) Good night (4341) Bad night (827)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate

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  (509): I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate http://tfl.nu/14fu
  Replies (6) Good night (2212) Bad night (646)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Do you have any booze?

  (214): View more from Texas

  Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...

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  (817): Do you have any booze? (214): Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl... http://tfl.nu/sb57
  Replies (9) Good night (2343) Bad night (613)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  I hope you fall on your chin.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Jealousy makes you ugly.

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  (802): I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore. (1-802): I hope you fall on your chin. (802): Jealousy makes you ugly. http://tfl.nu/isvw
  Replies (14) Good night (2914) Bad night (1124)
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  (909): View more from California

  Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"

  (951): View more from California

  That's just where I'm at in my life.

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  (909): Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!" (951): That's just where I'm at in my life. http://tfl.nu/gh6a
  Replies (10) Good night (1695) Bad night (1015)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.

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  (757): So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied. http://tfl.nu/fpwe
  Replies (6) Good night (703) Bad night (539)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.

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  (337): plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock. http://tfl.nu/69tv
  Replies (8) Good night (614) Bad night (1234)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.

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  (865): My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs. http://tfl.nu/mqhq
  Replies (3) Good night (359) Bad night (722)
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  (661): View more from California

  my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework

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  (661): my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework http://tfl.nu/653l
  Replies (2) Good night (547) Bad night (374)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I probably wouldn't

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  (443): Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood (410): I probably wouldn't http://tfl.nu/wahv
  Replies (1) Good night (571) Bad night (261)

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