I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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