Dual....:-)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
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Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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