Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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