But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
how drunk are you?
Several
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
