we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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