so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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