I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
