; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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