small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
