using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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