I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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