I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
