Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
