I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
