I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
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So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
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Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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