so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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