I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
