The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
