$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
