Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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