I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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