The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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