I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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