we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
