therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
