I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys