The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
