New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
