this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
