i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
