I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
