Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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