the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
