Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
