i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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