none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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