I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
