I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's official drugs can't kill me
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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