Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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