While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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